TEA BAGS AND DISCIPLINE

I was blessed to spend last Thursday and today in an all-day video workshop by the one and only Dr. Fred Jones. I tell ya, that man has really accounted for virtually every "what if" a teacher could throw his way. He uses the clever art of manipulation...er, behavior modification, to coerce, er, guide the student in the direction of appropriate behavior. We got to spend the days watching his videos and discussing situations with our colleagues. But, of course, the best part was getting to go to lunch, OFF CAMPUS, for AN ENTIRE HOUR!!!!! For those of you who don't teach, you could never imagine the thrill this is, and the possibilities it inspires! Unless, of course, you have 25 children of your own, then you probably have a pretty good idea. I got to eat SITTING DOWN! I know!
In other news, we got an exciting new toy here this weekend, and its name is AN INSTANT HOT WATER DISPENSER IN THE KITCHEN RIGHT ON THE KITCHEN SINK! I'm so excited! It's kind of dorky, I know, what with the invention of the microwave and all. But really, the idea that I can think, "Gee, a cup of hot tea sounds good", and make it happen RIGHT NOW is really, really cool. In fact, I've had so much tea since yesterday that I think I may have sprung a leak. Just kidding. I'm kind of glowy inside just thinking of the possibilities of instant coffee (Starbucks has complied) and hot chocolate next winter. And my wishes to God's ears, apparently, because it's been cold and rainy here all day! Off to have some more tea, happy Monday!

IT WAS ME

If anyone happened to notice a ridiculous-looking lady driving down the road on Friday holding an ice-cold RockStar beverage to her forehead staring ahead at the road with really squinty eyes? That was me. It was conference week. And our school Valentine's Day party. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

OH NUTS!

Well, 2010 started out with a bang (crash, bump, and I think I also heard a scream, but I can't be sure), but I think we're back on track and are in full anticipation of a fabulous year! Aren't we always?! The Christmas Break home with the kids was heaven. We got to bake, watch movies, play games, sleep in late (after staying up late), hang out with friends, and just have fun! In fact, we had so much fun that the Christmas decorations hung around for a whole extra week, and well into the new year! If you know me, you know this is in direct conflict with my OH-so OCD ways. I'm learning to chill. Age is definitely mellowing me!
Back to school has been a hoot--so much to do, so little time! I am once again entertained by the questions that keep me laughing and pondering. Here are some of my recent favorites:

• How do they get marbles so round? (more importantly, who are THEY?)
  
• Can plants feel it when you pull off their leaves? (I think we should ask one...)
  
• How does milk come out of your nose when you laugh? (happened in the cafeteria at lunch, true story, it's now legendary)
• Why did I come back after break? (heard this one in the teachers' copy room)
• Teacher, do you want to see my nuts? (student produces a handful of walnut-looking nuts from pocket to show his wide-eyed, completely panic-stricken teacher)

In other news, the house is getting cleaner and more organized (a constant quest), and this 3 day weekend is the reason why! I just love that freshly cleaned, new-house smell after everything has been dusted, wiped, folded, and reshelved--don't you?

A TOUGH CROWD

I'm not quite sure what happened between Christmas Day and the morning after, but BOY HOWDY! The Christmas Spirit got sucked right out of some people, I tell you. I did my usual "the day after Christmas" shopping routine...I rolled out of bed, still a little hung over from all the ham and fudge the day before, spot-combed my hair, brushed my teeth, threw on the clothes that were laying on the floor beside the bed, and headed out the door. My first stop is always Hallmark, because I almost always LOVE their Christmas stuff. This year, I arrived on their doorstep at 8:36 a.m., late by "morning after" standards, and found myself EARLY! They didn't open until 9:00! But good news for all of you worrying right now that I stood there and froze my fanny off for the next 24 minutes--JoAnn's Craft Store was right next door and OPEN! Since I had been to JoAnn's approximately 4 times a week for the 3 weeks leading up to Christmas (craft supplies for class, etc.), their selection was not a surprise. I spent $3.00 to replace some used-up supplies, and headed back to Hallmark. I have found that there are 2 types of people (women) that go to Hallmark the day after Christmas. The people, who like me, want to replenish their bow and wrapping paper stashes, and THE OTHERS. These OTHERS that I speak of are the women who collect Hallmark ornaments. And most of them are CRAZY. Now, if you are a Hallmark-ornament-collecting-non-crazy woman, I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER AN APOLOGY FOR MY OVER-GENERALIZING COMMENT. THE WOMEN WHERE I WAS SHOPPING WERE NUTS. They had no problem knocking small children upside their heads with their shopping bags if it meant getting the coveted Star Wars Luke Skywalker ornament, and more than one heavy sigh was uttered, suggesting the rest of us had better GET. OUT. OF. THEIR. WAY. Now, far be it from me to screw with people (um, yeah, right), but I'll admit that I may have stood a little longer than necessary and fondled one too many ornaments just to mess with 'em. Yeah, I don't even collect the ornaments. This year Hallmark decided to put all of the ornaments right next to all of the wrapping supplies, so THEY DID IT TO THEMSELVES.

I made the usual rounds after that: Pier One, World Market, Target, and Barnes and Noble. Everywhere I went, people seemed to be unusually cranky. What had been DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY the day before became I'LL DECK YOU IN THE AISLES, AND IT'LL BE MY FOLLY the day after. Sheesh. So to you, lady, who tried to run over me in the Pier One parking lot and then stared at me with your CRAZY EYES while I shopped inside, I say STAY HOME NEXT YEAR. Or at least have a cup of eggnog in the parking lot.

A JOKE, 3RD GRADE STYLE

Student: Do you know the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Me: Um, yeah.

Student: No, this is a joke.

Me: I know, I'm just messin' with ya.

Student: Do you want to hear the joke?

Me: Um, yeah.

Student: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Me: I think I've heard that one before.

Student: Really?

Me: No.

Student: Do you know?

Me: No, what the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Student: Anybody can roast beef, but nobody can pea soup!

Me: That's the funniest joke I've ever heard!

Student: Yeah, me too.

The best part was when he told me the same joke 5 more times the same day, and I had to pretend it was as funny each time as it was the 1st time he told me! Good times...

WHERE ARE YOU, CHRISTMAS?

I think that there should be a date of expiration on all uneaten Halloween candy. I mean, what kid who's worth his weight in Snickers has any left come December 1st, anyway? Haven't their parents eaten what was left? (Ahem) I knew today was going to be rough when I was greeted at my classroom door by several of my students who had graciously accepted a classmate's offering of leftover Halloween candy. For breakfast... At 7:30 a.m... By 10:00 a.m., I had sent one to the nurse's office with a tummy ache, explained to Evan that little girls didn't like to be called "honey buns" by little boys, and tried to come up with an answer for why dogs and cats have thicker skin that humans (that was during math class). By afternoon recess, our boy's bathroom pass had been thrown up on the roof. Luckily for us, Jessie had said a prayer when she went out to use the restroom, and God had told "her heart and brain" that the culprit had been either Daniel, Joseph, Connor, or Michael. Well, at least that's one less problem for me to think about. Sigh. When's Christmas?

I'M BACK???

I'm a little bit back. Here's a grocery list of what's been going on around here, and why I have been MIA lately!

New job--check
Working 2 jobs now--check
Sinus Infection--check
Pneumonia (from working 2 jobs?)--check
Strep throat (from working with germy little people?)--check
Shuttle driver for kids in sports, etc.--check
Holidays upon us--check

Soooooo, I am going to try to incorporate blogging back into my crazy life, I miss it oh, so much! If anyone is still out there that I used to blog-stalk, I promise I'm really trying to come and read your posts...probably on the weekends! I'm so glad to be back in the classroom, and I know these precious little people that I am in charge of all day will provide me hours of funny blogging stories for you!