A TOUGH CROWD

I'm not quite sure what happened between Christmas Day and the morning after, but BOY HOWDY! The Christmas Spirit got sucked right out of some people, I tell you. I did my usual "the day after Christmas" shopping routine...I rolled out of bed, still a little hung over from all the ham and fudge the day before, spot-combed my hair, brushed my teeth, threw on the clothes that were laying on the floor beside the bed, and headed out the door. My first stop is always Hallmark, because I almost always LOVE their Christmas stuff. This year, I arrived on their doorstep at 8:36 a.m., late by "morning after" standards, and found myself EARLY! They didn't open until 9:00! But good news for all of you worrying right now that I stood there and froze my fanny off for the next 24 minutes--JoAnn's Craft Store was right next door and OPEN! Since I had been to JoAnn's approximately 4 times a week for the 3 weeks leading up to Christmas (craft supplies for class, etc.), their selection was not a surprise. I spent $3.00 to replace some used-up supplies, and headed back to Hallmark. I have found that there are 2 types of people (women) that go to Hallmark the day after Christmas. The people, who like me, want to replenish their bow and wrapping paper stashes, and THE OTHERS. These OTHERS that I speak of are the women who collect Hallmark ornaments. And most of them are CRAZY. Now, if you are a Hallmark-ornament-collecting-non-crazy woman, I WOULD LIKE TO OFFER AN APOLOGY FOR MY OVER-GENERALIZING COMMENT. THE WOMEN WHERE I WAS SHOPPING WERE NUTS. They had no problem knocking small children upside their heads with their shopping bags if it meant getting the coveted Star Wars Luke Skywalker ornament, and more than one heavy sigh was uttered, suggesting the rest of us had better GET. OUT. OF. THEIR. WAY. Now, far be it from me to screw with people (um, yeah, right), but I'll admit that I may have stood a little longer than necessary and fondled one too many ornaments just to mess with 'em. Yeah, I don't even collect the ornaments. This year Hallmark decided to put all of the ornaments right next to all of the wrapping supplies, so THEY DID IT TO THEMSELVES.

I made the usual rounds after that: Pier One, World Market, Target, and Barnes and Noble. Everywhere I went, people seemed to be unusually cranky. What had been DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY the day before became I'LL DECK YOU IN THE AISLES, AND IT'LL BE MY FOLLY the day after. Sheesh. So to you, lady, who tried to run over me in the Pier One parking lot and then stared at me with your CRAZY EYES while I shopped inside, I say STAY HOME NEXT YEAR. Or at least have a cup of eggnog in the parking lot.